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  2. zanetehaiden:

    zanetehaiden:

    zanetehaiden:

    zanetehaiden:

    Why cello there

    This has 130 notes.
    Y’all need to chill this wasn’t that funny

    This is the post that put me over 500 followers. I hate everything

    This is it. This is fuckin it. This is the legacy I leave on this god-forsaken website. This is what future generations will remember me for, after all is said and done and the world dies down, this is what will be recorded in the annals of history as the one thing I achieved in my entire existence, and its the stupidest goddamn thing I could have possibly done. With three words I immortalized myself as the cello guys, not knowing what I wrought, and here we now stand.

    165,000 notes is way too many. 10,000 followers is way too many. Everything is way too many. This wasn’t that funny, but here we are. Here we are, sad and tired and full of regret, at the cusp of the world, and here I will rot with what could have been.

    Know that I mean it from the bottom of my heart when I say that I loathe each and every one of you bastards for doing this.

    Cell-out

    (via sociopathic-hedgehog)

     
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  4. "You seek that which would bestow upon you the right to rule: the king’s jewel. The Arkenstone. It is precious to you beyond measure. I understand that. There’s gems in the mountain that I too desire. White gems of pure starlight.”

    (Source: thranduilings, via sociopathic-hedgehog)

     
  5. leakinginklikeblood:

    oateyboat:

    I think this might be my favourite scene in all the Pirates of the Caribbean films. I can’t decide whose reaction I like best: Davy Jones’ look of sheer pride after ruining Will’s tea, Will’s look of “For fuck’s sake, I was drinking that” as it goes flying out of his hand, or Beckett’s look of horror at the sight of wasted tea. 

    #British problems on the high seas. 

    (via sociopathic-hedgehog)

     
  6. asdfghjkl72210:

    xopachi:

    skwinky:

    lntruding:

    Have you ever been to earth?

    On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:

    You’re an idiot.

    Let me further explain:

    Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.

    Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.

    When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.

    And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:

    Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.

    Nope.

    My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.

    You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.

    And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.

    What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.

    I just want a burrito.

    In conclusion:

    You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.


    UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:

    A fucking fork?

    I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.

    If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.

    That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.

    Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.

    A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.

    People eat burritos with forks?

    God is sorry he made us.

    (Source)

    I always need this on my blog.

    I can’t be laughing this hard in the morning. 

    I’m crying

    (via sociopathic-hedgehog)

     
  7. likeappletrees:

    zan77:

    I’m suddenly struck with how if you remove the subtitles this just looks like a vintage anonymous hookup in a gay bar

    with the subtitles it looks like a vintage hookup in a gay bar

    (Source: tony-stark-industries, via sociopathic-hedgehog)

     
  8. lotr meme: five locations [1/5] - The Shire

    (via ladyshireens)

     
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  10. virginiagentlenerd:

    1. Steve Rogers is not just some dumb soldier who follows orders, he thinks outside the box and asks questions and considers consequences.

    2. Peggy Carter had plans to eat that boy alive before he became a delicious roast beefcake in Howard Stark’s hottie machine. 

    3. I don’t understand people who didn’t enjoy this movie. 

    (Source: rapunzelena, via time-doesnt-wait-for-me)